Just in case you all didn’t know, the title for my post is from a gospel song that I really love. But anyways, it seemed fitting for some of the things that I’ve experienced lately. The weird thing is that it came out of nowhere, this feeling. And it was ridiculous. And I knew it was ridiculous from the start. I knew that the things that I was feeling was completely out of wack with what I was thinking. The more I transgress through my journey of healing, I find myself using more of the cognitive side of my brain. It’s actually been a very helpful technique, to stop using my affective/emotional side to rule my life, but rather to use my cognitive/analytical side to figure out what I’m experiencing. Well, from the start of this feeling, I knew and could cognitively feel that it was wrong to be feeling the way I was feeling. And it’s true. I felt hurt, but the person who did the “hurting” never realized they were hurting me, nor should I have been hurt by the situation. It was ridiculous, and I felt petty because of it. It didn’t help that because I knew I shouldn’t have been feeling that way, I kind of beat myself up for it.

But then I learned. I knew the whole time that God was teaching me something. During the midst of one of my emotional moments, I was praying and God told me to endure. He said that what I was going through, I needed to be going through in order to learn. So from then on, even though I wasn’t in the best of moods, I knew that I was going through some emotional crap in order to learn. And that’s what this post is all about. I have neared the end of that emotional depth that I was in, and as I realized how my emotions were picking up, I could figure out the reason why. And then I knew why I was going through the things that God had me go through. What I realized through this (and I’m sure this is not the extent of what I am learning through this) is that I am still human. It’s not that I think I’m usually perfect or even nearing perfection as I grow closer to God, but I do sometimes feel as though I should be impervious to certain things as a result of my closer walk with God and my journey through healing. This was a lovely reminder that Jesus was the only perfect being, and that I am still human and fully capable of fallen nature. I thought the whole time I was going through this, that I shouldn’t have been going through it because I had already been through it before and because I thought I was past that emotional problem in my life. Thank you God for showing me and reminding me that I am still capable of completely human reactions in my life. And that no matter how far I go in my journey and how close I am to you, I still am human and will experience the human side of life.