But then I learned. I knew the whole time that God was teaching me something. During the midst of one of my emotional moments, I was praying and God told me to endure. He said that what I was going through, I needed to be going through in order to learn. So from then on, even though I wasn’t in the best of moods, I knew that I was going through some emotional crap in order to learn. And that’s what this post is all about. I have neared the end of that emotional depth that I was in, and as I realized how my emotions were picking up, I could figure out the reason why. And then I knew why I was going through the things that God had me go through. What I realized through this (and I’m sure this is not the extent of what I am learning through this) is that I am still human. It’s not that I think I’m usually perfect or even nearing perfection as I grow closer to God, but I do sometimes feel as though I should be impervious to certain things as a result of my closer walk with God and my journey through healing. This was a lovely reminder that Jesus was the only perfect being, and that I am still human and fully capable of fallen nature. I thought the whole time I was going through this, that I shouldn’t have been going through it because I had already been through it before and because I thought I was past that emotional problem in my life. Thank you God for showing me and reminding me that I am still capable of completely human reactions in my life. And that no matter how far I go in my journey and how close I am to you, I still am human and will experience the human side of life.

The Bible mentions that God is a jealous God (Qanna) about six times in the Old Testament.  That fact right there solidified the idea that because God is all good, that there had to be good forms of jealousy.  According to my Bible’s Lexical Aid to the Old Testament, when God talks about being jealous, the word Qanna or Qana is being used.  Both words are different, with Qana coming from Arabic meaning to get red, as in “get red in the face”.  Almost as if in anger.  The word Qana has two different meanings, then.  It means jealous, or zealous.  In a negative term, it often refers to jealousy (as in envious).  When used positively (like to describe attributes of God) it refers to zeal.  The word Qanna comes from Qana, and only has one definition, simply jealous.  So then is it alright to be jealous?  If this term is attributable to God, then absolutely.  In fact, as we grow closer to God and try to be more like Him, it only makes sense that we would try to absorb those attributes as well.  So in fact, we should be jealous.  But take heed, lest it become sinful, and that is where envy enters the equation.  Envy is purely a negativistic term, describing a feeling of desire for something that someone else possesses.  God does not portray this characteristic because He is everything.  He cannot possibly desire something in someone else’s possession because He is all in all.  He is only jealous when we put other gods/idols before Him.  When we take our attention off of Him and focus on things that do not warrant our undivided attention, that is when He becomes jealous.  In my opinion, envy is a subset of jealousy.  Jealousy is an overarching term, where one can be jealous and not envious, but one cannot be envious and not jealous.  God cannot exhibit envy, but jealous He is.  So what does that mean in terms of our human relationships? How can we be jealous but not envious?

I don’t have all the answers to that question, but it’s like the idea that we can be angry and not sin.  Such a thing exists as righteous anger.  I believe such a thing exists as righteous jealousy.  For instance, when due attention is taken off of someone for something else that should not warrant that attention, jealousy can occur righteously.  Let’s try to make an example of this.  A Father is teaching a son how to build a treehouse.  This thing is being built for the son, and the father thought it would be a good bonding experience to have both of them work on the project together.  They do it for a while, but then the son’s friends come over.  They want to play.  The Father gives the son the option to play with the friends or to help him finish the project together.  The son chooses the friends and goes off the play.  The father is left alone to build the treehouse himself while the son is having a fun time playing with his friends.  The father may feel disappointed that the son chose this path, but also may feel jealous, knowing that the object of the son’s attention is no longer on him, but on the fun he is having with friends.  I don’t know if that is exactly and accurate portrayal of righteous jealousy, but it’s close enough.  All I know is this: the attributes of God are worth attending to and obtaining, so why not be righteously jealous?